The imprint of money

I grew up in a pretty normal middle class household, where money was concerned. We had enough, but not for extra luxuries. Both my dad and mom had the same outlook as my friends’ parents – “ money doesn’t grow on trees”, “think well before you spend, because one works hard for your money” etc.

This philosophy was imprinted on my brain from a young age, and being a responsible person, I always looked after my belongings ( to the point that when my children were small they could still play with my dolls and tractors – impeccable after more than 20 years).

At 17 I got my first pair of contact lenses – hard ones. They scratched my eyes terribly. One late afternoon, busy finishing up for a Pre-primary concert where I had to go and help with the kids, I lost my one contact lens. I searched my whole room, but that lens was nowhere to be found. Now how to tell my mother…. It was just impossible to face my parents, telling them that I have been irresponsible and wasted valuable money. I was in such a state that I saw no way out. In a haze of depression I decided that I had no choice, I had to commit suicide. Lack of knowledge drove me to the medicine cabinet. The only full packet I could find was a packet of “brook lax”. I emptied the container and went to fulfill my duties at the concert, fully aware that nothing will happen there, but anticipating for my stomach to just collapse during the night (preferably in my sleep) and so I never need to disappoint my parents.

Needless to say, one cannot die from “brook lax” overdose. The next morning I courageously told my parents about my lense, nothing about my suicide attempt though – my dad, engineer that he was, vacuumed my room and retrieved the lense.

When my son was born , and later my daughter, I too had to face the daunting task of teaching them about money and how to be responsible, but my own experience made me wonder whether unknowingly parents put their children under a lot of pressure with their outlook. Without teaching our children to waste, shouldn’t we teach them to enjoy money? To attract money? That money, as everything else in the universe is in abundance, for us to create? That money is just a commodity and not worth people’s lives?

If not, our children might  also lead anxious, depressing lives, only focusing on want. And when they too feel they have fallen short, will they not like so many decide to commit suicide?